Attachment Styles
(Why You Text Back in Paragraphs...
While They Reply with a Thumbs Up Two Days Later)
Attachment styles are basically the relationship blueprints we picked up early in life—from our caregivers, from the rhythms of connection (or lack thereof), and from the little patterns that quietly taught us what to expect from closeness.
Let’s meet the four main attachment styles:
no shame, no blame—just tender insights, a few jokes, and some nervous system science.
The Healing Perspective
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Let’s get one thing straight: Your attachment style is not your fault. It’s your nervous system doing what it had to do to protect you—based on the connection patterns it learned early on. But here’s the empowering part: Your attachment style is not your destiny, either.
Here’s what we believe:
🔸 All attachment styles are protective, not pathological.
They’re brilliant, adaptive strategies your system developed to stay safe and connected—even if they’re a little clunky in adult relationships.
🔸 You can heal.
Neuroplasticity is real, and so is relational repair. Therapy, somatic work, and consistent, attuned relationships can literally rewire the way we experience connection.
🔸 Safe people help us rewire.
That includes therapists, friends, chosen family, emotionally mature partners, and yes—even the kind barista who remembers your name and spells it right. (Shoutout to Jake with the oat milk.)
🔸 Self-compassion is the portal.
You don’t “fix” an attachment wound by shaming it—you meet it with tenderness, curiosity, and care. Healing starts when we stop trying to be “less sensitive” and start honoring the parts of us that long for love.
Working Through Attachment in Therapy
Therapy gives you space to:
✔ Understand your attachment style with compassion, not judgment
✔ Build awareness of triggers and patterns in real time
✔ Practice new relational strategies in a safe, supportive space
✔ Learn how to regulate your nervous system and tolerate connection
✔ Reconnect with parts of yourself that got left behind
Whether you're exploring solo patterns or navigating relational landmines with a partner, therapy offers a map—and a companion on the journey.​
Attachment Wounds in Our Intimate Relationships?
You’re not alone. Attachment patterns often show up most loudly in close relationships—especially when there’s conflict, intimacy, or stress.Different styles can collide in ways that feel confusing, painful, or just plain exhausting—but with understanding and support, even stuck dynamics can shift.
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