Meet Your Inner Family
the fascinating, complex, and surprisingly relatable cast of characters… inside your own mind.
An Introduction to Working with Parts
Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a compassionate, evidence-based therapeutic approach that invites us to understand our inner world as made up of “parts”—distinct voices, feelings, patterns, or roles inside us that have developed to help us survive, succeed, or simply get through the week without texting our ex.
So… What Are These “Parts” Anyway?
You know that part of you that wants to stay in bed all day, and the one that insists you get up and answer emails? Or the one that panics in social settings, and the one that overcompensates by being the life of the party? Those are parts.
In IFS, we recognize three general categories:
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Protectors (like the inner perfectionist or people-pleaser)
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Exiles (the younger, hurt parts carrying pain or trauma)
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Self (your calm, connected, inner wise one)
All of your parts have good intentions. Yes, even the ones with questionable methods.
At the Center of It All: The Self
Beneath all your parts is the Self—a spacious, calm, compassionate core of you. In IFS, we help you reconnect with this Self so that healing can happen from the inside out. Self isn’t just a concept—it’s something you can feel: when you’re calm, clear, and curious, you're in Self.
How Is IFS Useful in Therapy?
IFS is helpful for:
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Trauma, PTSD, and complex developmental wounds
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Anxiety, depression, and burnout
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Chronic self-criticism and shame
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Inner conflict and decision paralysis
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Relationship patterns that feel stuck
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Basically anytime your inner world feels like a family holiday dinner with no exit plan
Rather than trying to get rid of symptoms, IFS helps you become a curious, compassionate listener to the parts of you that carry pain or protection. IFS is about befriending the parts of you that have been trying to keep you safe all along. You’re not too much. You’re just multitudes.
A Trauma-Informed Look at IFS: Gentle Steps to Inner Connection
IFS is especially helpful for people who’ve lived through trauma. It doesn’t force insight, doesn’t rush healing, and doesn’t pathologize your protective instincts. Instead, it honors the roles each part has taken on in order to keep you going.
IFS unfolds slowly, with permission at every step.
Where Did This Idea Come From?
The idea that we are made up of many inner “selves” isn’t new—it’s actually a deep and fascinating psychological lineage. While IFS as a formal therapy was developed by Dr. Richard C. Schwartz in the 1980s, the concept of inner multiplicity has long roots.
Early thinkers like Carl Jung spoke of sub-personalities, archetypes, and the shadow self, while Roberto Assagioli’s Psychosynthesis introduced the idea of “subpersonalities” that hold their own needs and experiences, guided by a central Self.
Virginia Satir, a pioneer in family therapy and key influence on Schwartz, encouraged clients to speak from inner roles—like the placater or the blamer—treating them as parts of an internal system. Building on these foundations, Schwartz developed IFS as a compassionate, non-pathologizing approach to healing. In IFS, our parts aren’t seen as problems—they’re protectors, often shaped by past wounds, that can be understood, supported, and gently unburdened.
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1. “Is there a part of me that would like my attention right now?”
(Notice what sensations, images, emotions, or thoughts come up.)
2. “Where do I notice this part in or around my body?”
(Is there a place it lives—chest, belly, head, hands, etc.?)
3. “What does this part seem to be feeling?”
(Anxious? Protective? Sad? Loud? Numb?)
4. “How do I feel toward this part?”
(Curious? Annoyed? Compassionate? Afraid? Wanting to fix it?) If your answer isn’t curious or compassionate, that’s totally okay—there may be another part reacting. You can pause and say, “I see you too,” to that second part.
5. “What does this part want me to know?”
(Is it trying to protect me? Carrying something from the past? Wanting connection?)
6. “What might this part need from me right now?”
(Just being heard? Space? Appreciation? Permission to rest?)
Part Introduction:
Gentle Curiosity Questions
You can say these aloud to yourself or use them in writing. Take your time. There's no pressure for answers—just noticing what arises.